cunning linguist

The muscial sensation "cunning linguist" is a shitty alternative/dissonant punk band that hails from the gutters of Weston Toronto. The band was formed by guitarist/vocalist Dannie Morrison and drummer Aaron Alford after quitting they're previous group due to musical differences. After recruiting Morrison's lifetime friend Darren Zunde on bass, the band officially formed and played together for the first time on December 28th, 2004. It was also that day that they wrote they're song "the Original Slinky" a staple at almost every cunning linguist show. They're name is obviously a childish yet humorous double reference (if you don't get it, look it up yourself), based on Morrison's uncle's response to the name of another Weston band, "Felatio" (who broke up in 2005). Upon hearing this name Morrsion's uncle said only cocksuckers would call themselves 'felatio' and that a real band would be called 'cunning linguist'. On June 6th, 2006 the band had they're first public performance. It was a 3 song set at an Etobicoke alternative high school, See-School for their bi-annual talent show. After positive feedback from the performance, they decided to join Supernova to get a show.

cunning linguist's first show was at the El Mocambo on Wednesday August 6th, 2006. After singing up with Supernova the first show the band got was a 'Battle of the Bands' at the ElMo in Toronto. The band had a 7:45 p.m. show time, they arrived at the ElMo at roughly 5:30, and set their equipment up in a corner, and walked back downstairs and outside into the swarm of other bands on the sidewalk out front the El Mocambo. It was a tense scene, all the bands before anyone had played a note, on a sidewalk eyeing each other down, and not saying a word to each other. There were few 'fans' there at that point, just parents of dweeb bands, and groupings of friends no larger than 5 per band. No one spoke, other than small chatter between bands and they're friends. The air was fairly silent until about 6 o'clock, when a street car pulled up to the College and Spadina streetcar stop, and a wave of 20 to 25 belligerent, angry, obnoxious, loud, and 80% intoxicated, people screaming "FUCK!" and "CUNNING LINGUIST!" got off the street car. At the sight of the trio they had come to see, the swarm of people ran over towards the ElMo to greet the band. There is nothing greater than the faces of nearly every band playing that show when they realized how pissed off, and huge the band's crowd was. By 7:30 there was well over 30 people at the El Mocambo to see the band's very first performance over 10 minutes long. The show was the second time they had ever performed outside of Alford's basement. After heckling the band before cunning linguist for being a screamo band, the crowd started yelling at the sight of the three of them setting up on stage. cunning linguist opened with a song that has been the opener for every show they have played, 'the Highlands', and after the melodic guitar intro, as soon as the drums and bass really kick in, the crowd erupted. The crowd were moshing in a manor that resembled more hockey fighting then typicaln pushing and shoving. A group of drunken girls got on stage and were knocking over mic stands and nearly damaging the equipment, it was madness. That bald dude from supernova with the hat and piercings, that's at like every Supernova show was like turning red and screaming at kids. The band finished they're 25 minute set and immediately after they finished, and the Supernova guy grabbed the mic and announced that they had been disqualified, and then went over the rules of Supernova to the crowd. Yes, they had been disqualified for nothing they could control, this mainly because of drunken people, but they were extremely impressed with their performance and turn out. And in the end, after cooling down the Supernova dude took Alford and Zunde aside and told them that they needed to learn to 'channel the people's energy, and to tell them to chill the fuck out', and that if it wasn't so fucked up they would have won the competition. Their next show after that was at the Reverb, and one again they had a good show, and the bald dude from Supernova gave them 3rd prize, and they won 4 hours from 'Machine Head Studios'. They played a few shows for Supernova after that, until about early 2007 when they decided to stop doing Supernova shows.

For almost a year cunning linguist quit Supernova and got they're own shows, but now in 2008 have made they're return to Supernova due to the easy ability to gain a fan base, and attain shows.

They still hate pussy emo screamo bands, and they're returning concert is the battle of the bands at the Kathedral on February 8th....

written (as always) by:

Rusty (the Rust) Shackelford