rahimi

10. Their Internet Explorer 6 browser is so buggy and unstable, even pages built with Microsoft .NET technology work better in Firefox.

9. Upon examining the error log on the server, I was informed of an HttpUnhandledException (exceptions are errors in programming-speak.) Microsoft's definition of the error? "The exception that is thrown when a generic exception occurs.

8. Same thing when I was writing the new smooth image resize and crop algorithm for your profile banners. I had a bug in the code, and all Microsoft would say is "A Generic Error occurred." I fixed it - turned out to be a wrong file name. But really, Bill.

7. You forgot to put native pagination in your SQL Server - come on, ppl, what makes more sense?

2 ways to get 5 blogs starting at #10:

A) Select * from blogs order by ID asc Limit 5 offset 10 
(PHP / MYSQL way)

B)
select top 5 * from
       (select *, ROW_NUMBER()  as RowID over (order by ID asc))
 as AllOF  where AllOf.RowID > 10

(The stupid MS way. I can never remember the syntax ever since I wrote a class to do it for me.)

A 3rd way, made by microsoft. Instead of fixing their database properly, they just wrapped into the .NET Language  so you don't see it, and you don't forget:

C)

var q = with b in db.blogs
            orderby b.ID ascending
            select b;

List<blogs> results = b.skip(10).take(5);

Wow, it doesn't even feel like SQL. Of course, like anything MS does, they had to screw up this technology too, when it comes to writing data. Once you've pulled out some records from the database, sent em up to the user, manipulated them, and want to do an update, it won't let you if the data has left the original method where it was retrieved. So other sorts of work-arounds are needed, of an inefficient and annoying nature.

6. Each version of .NET is designed to produce larger apps, that consume more memory, so people buy new computers and hence are forced to purchase Vista. We tolerate it because of the timesaving features we get in each version.

5. Single women don't use .NET, and my attempts to offer lessons in this particular field have gone nowhere. It seems that attractive female coders are of the PHP/MySql/Drupal variety and won't touch Windows with a 10 foot pole (PHP girl: if you're reading this, msg me.)

4. IE8 renders pages bizarrely. So you put a special tag in your page which turns it into IE7. Why, oh why can't you just do things normally, Microsoft?

3. The .NET implementation of the repeater is so weak, the loops don't even always execute in order, making the need for ugly hacks and callback functions.

2. The AJAX library is like a meg for the client to download. Mine is like 3 lines of code and works better.

1. If you build a standards compliant web page, it will most definitely NOT work in IE until you have messed with the CSS and made it ugly with hacks like the  !Important one. Of course, Microsoft Visual Studio  will then tell you that your code is incorrect. As if!

So, with that said...